1
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:25,547
♪

2
00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:27,462
FITZ: <i>Life is a million fucking roads</i>

3
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:29,725
<i>with only one destination, kids.</i>

4
00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:33,033
<i>The big sleep, deadsville.</i>

5
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:37,515
<i>Population: everyone.</i>

6
00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,343
<i>Take it from Fitzy.</i>

7
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:42,694
<i>You only get one real advantage when you're behind the wheel.</i>

8
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:45,871
<i>You get to choose
where you want to go.</i>

9
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:48,309
<i>And the radio station.</i>

10
00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:49,310
<i>What the fuck?</i>

11
00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:51,877
<i>Fast-track to awesome!</i>

12
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:55,664
<i>Why take Gumdrop Lane</i>

13
00:00:55,664 --> 00:01:00,364
<i>when you can bury the pedal
on Highway 69?</i>

14
00:01:00,364 --> 00:01:02,888
<i>What?</i>

15
00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:04,934
<i>Where the hell am I?</i>

16
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:18,165
This isn't Highway 69.

17
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,819
What the fuck?

18
00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,784
What the fuck?

19
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:32,614
What the fuck?!

20
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:49,718
♪

21
00:01:49,718 --> 00:01:53,200
♪ Without you

22
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,854
♪ I'd find my smile

23
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:58,683
♪ Without you

24
00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:01,251
♪ I'd have won by a mile

25
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:03,775
♪ Without you

26
00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:07,344
♪ Oh, life would be so grand

27
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,259
♪ Without you

28
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:12,915
♪ I'm half a man

29
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:26,668
♪ Without you

30
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:38,070
I'm tripping, that's it!

31
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:41,117
Only one way to come down from
a bad batch of fucked-up!

32
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,822
Oh, come on!

33
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:58,482
Come on, where's my stash?

34
00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,092
You won't find alcohol
or drugs here, Richard.

35
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,746
Jesus, Larry!

36
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,270
How can you rag on my vices

37
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,054
when you keep hiding
my fucking vices?

38
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:07,317
I don't know how to say this.

39
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:09,363
Less saying,
more looking for my drugs.

40
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:18,937
I think we're dead.

41
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:23,028
Dead-fucking thirsty!

42
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:24,160
This is another dream!

43
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,989
No, Richard, it's not a dream.

44
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:28,382
Don't you remember?

45
00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,645
Your crash, the head injury?

46
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,603
You weren't even in the car
with me!

47
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,039
Unless I crashed into you.

48
00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:35,345
Please tell me I crashed
into you!

49
00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:37,391
You fell!

50
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:40,785
And when you died,
I died too.

51
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:43,745
'Cause I'm your conscience.

52
00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:45,747
I'm a part of you.

53
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:48,184
I'm just sorry
it took your demise

54
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:51,753
to prove what I've known
this whole time.

55
00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:54,495
You? No booze?

56
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,627
You?

57
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,368
So, this is hell!

58
00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:00,762
STRANGE VOICE:
Dream on, kid!

59
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:03,591
You're not there yet.

60
00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:05,680
FITZ:
Holy shit!

61
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,683
Nicky Vebronsky!

62
00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:10,293
In the flesh.

63
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:11,294
Flesh?

64
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,514
But aren't we dead?

65
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,559
Who's Mr. Specific?

66
00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:17,082
Oh, I'm Larry!

67
00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:19,041
He's nobody.

68
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,086
Vebronsky, the commission king!

69
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:23,872
Summer of love,

70
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:28,703
68 heaps in one afternoon
and they never saw you again.

71
00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:31,227
They said you made a deal
with the devil.

72
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,838
Or I'm just that good.

73
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:36,363
You sold a tank
to a hippie.

74
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,887
You sold a Volkswagen
to a rabbi.

75
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,672
Don't forget the kid
I took as collateral.

76
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,370
Fuck, man!

77
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,459
You're an inspiration!

78
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,548
They said you were
a charmer, Fitz.

79
00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:51,116
You know who I am?

80
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,118
He knows who I am!

81
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:55,338
Why do you think I'm here?

82
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:58,341
Someone of your stature
gets the VIP treatment.

83
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:01,083
Top-of-the-line spirit guide!

84
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:04,695
Oh, Richard!

85
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:07,176
A dead used car salesman
is your spirit guide?

86
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:09,439
I'm sorry, I failed you!

87
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,876
I tried so hard
to keep you out of hell,

88
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:13,530
and now here we are!

89
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:16,359
Once more for the cheap seats,
this ain't hell.

90
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:17,752
Oh, so...

91
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:21,538
so we're in purgatory?

92
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:25,020
The waiting room
of the afterlife.

93
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:30,591
Come on,
let me show you around.

94
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,767
See what I can interest you
with today.

95
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:34,725
What's your poison, Fitz?

96
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,901
Dealer's choice, I trust you.

97
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,947
Let's get started
on the paperwork!

98
00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:51,699
Finally!

99
00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:52,830
Tip of the iceberg, kid!

100
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,745
Albertan?

101
00:05:54,745 --> 00:05:56,356
What, are you
trying to kill me?

102
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,619
If you want the top-shelf stuff,
you got to head downstairs.

103
00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,011
Ring-a-ding-ding,
let's go!

104
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:02,623
Richard, I think we should keep
our options open.

105
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:07,628
Maybe heaven has alcohol too,
or something better!

106
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:10,587
Like... love?

107
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:11,936
[Laughing]

108
00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:13,895
Hey, who's
the spirit guide here?

109
00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:15,244
Well, if hell
is so much fun,

110
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:17,377
then why aren't you there, mister?

111
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:21,685
You had me at top-shelf.

112
00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:22,991
This way, pal!

113
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:25,036
Yeah!

114
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:27,822
Wait up!

115
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,353
Look, Fitz, I know
you're the real deal,

116
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,529
but we can't do business
until you ankle that Edsel.

117
00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:42,967
I'm working on it!

118
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:45,056
I know you are.

119
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:47,363
Look, take a look around,
get a feel for the place.

120
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:48,408
Give me a shout.

121
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,626
How will I find you?

122
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,759
You don't find Vebronsky, kid.

123
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,369
Vebronsky finds you.

124
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:55,719
And if you do get to hell,
tell them Nicky sent you.

125
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,852
Make sure they get it
on the books.

126
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:19,569
Wheels up!

127
00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:21,615
No, no, she's not a woman.

128
00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:23,138
She's a succubus,
a sexual demon.

129
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,269
It's a trick!

130
00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:26,010
And my stewardess
for all eternity.

131
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:27,708
Ring-a-ding-ding!

132
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:30,362
They prefer the term
"flight attendant."

133
00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:33,409
[Music playing, moaning]

134
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,634
Welcome to hell.

135
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,505
Ban on all outside food
and beverage,

136
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,507
recording devices... hope.

137
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,640
ANNOUNCER:
We got a great show
for you tonight!

138
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:50,687
Poison-hot cuties
all lined up!

139
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,776
Holy shit!

140
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:55,475
Hell is the Rat Pack lounge
of my dreams!

141
00:07:58,608 --> 00:07:59,783
Hey, easy buddy!

142
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:02,307
Vebronsky sent me!

143
00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:03,352
You're not on the list.

144
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:04,353
Oh, thank God!

145
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:05,615
Hey, give me some scratch.

146
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:08,531
I'm sure we can work out
this little oversight.

147
00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:10,098
I don't want money.

148
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:12,056
I'm a sodomy demon.

149
00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:13,493
Take him.

150
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,537
Uh, no, thank you very much!

151
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,626
Oh, come on, buddy!
Work with me!

152
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:17,714
I'm a prick!

153
00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:18,933
I've been a prick
my whole life!

154
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,500
What's a guy got to do
to get on that list?

155
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,503
Richard, I think I know why
they're not letting you in.

156
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,721
Really?

157
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,157
Illuminate me,
fuck-tard!

158
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,942
The dead, Richard!

159
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,552
Only the dead
get into hell.

160
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,032
Don't you see?

161
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,686
We're not dead!

162
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,731
We're still alive, whoo!

163
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:38,692
Caucasian male, late 30s.

164
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:41,390
Blunt-force trauma
to the back of the head.

165
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,958
Uh, breathing shallow,
pupils non-responsive.

166
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,613
Signs of extensive drug
and alcohol abuse.

167
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,223
Possible brain damage, over.

168
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:49,572
Brain damage?

169
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:50,878
How can you be so calm?

170
00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:52,532
Ativan.

171
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,056
Lady, this man's life
is at stake,

172
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,623
and you may be the key
to his survival!

173
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,842
We're doing
all we can here, okay?

174
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,235
Maybe your friend should learn

175
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,584
that the speed limit
is not a suggestion.

176
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:04,021
Now is not the time
for judgements, missy!

177
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:05,849
I need you to emotionally invest
in this situation.

178
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:06,850
Put these on.

179
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,330
Of course, anything!

180
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:09,679
Don't tell me
how to do my job!

181
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:13,640
Hey!

182
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,991
[Sirens blaring]

183
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:20,603
Oh, ah!

184
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,692
[Crying]

185
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,955
What the fuck's
your problem?

186
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,870
Fitzy!

187
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:28,611
[Making exploding noise]

188
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:29,656
He's in the "whee-ooh!"

189
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:32,484
I think he may be--
he could be--

190
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:35,618
My son is dead?

191
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:39,535
Fitzy's dead?

192
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:40,623
Oh, buddy!

193
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:43,583
You really think
this is a good idea?

194
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:48,675
Fucking brakes, man!

195
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,634
Why, Fitzy, why!

196
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:54,550
Cousin, cousin!

197
00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:57,640
Our prayers
have been answered.

198
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,729
Richard Fitzpatrick
has died

199
00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,775
in a flaming ball
of twisted metal!

200
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:04,604
The ne'er-do-well
prince is dead?

201
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,693
The kingdom is weakening!

202
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:10,218
Step one on our plans
towards automotive domination!

203
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:11,785
And the king is old.

204
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:15,702
And in today's economy,
he could use some help

205
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:18,052
with his mid-level
retirement plans.

206
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,358
Courtesy of the Ruptal world, huh?

207
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:23,100
Soon, cousin, all of this,
all of it will be ours!

208
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,146
Glory be!

209
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,587
Vebronsky!

210
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:32,936
Vebronsky?

211
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:34,677
Aw, come on, man!

212
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:36,418
You're supposed to be
my spirit guide!

213
00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:37,724
Don't leave me hanging!

214
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,421
Richard, he's not coming

215
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:41,075
because you don't need
a spirit guide.

216
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,554
And once we're back
to the land of the living,

217
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:44,382
we can focus on making you
a better person.

218
00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:45,645
Oh, maybe we'll go organic!

219
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:46,994
Fuck that!

220
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:49,257
I've seen hell,
and it's awesome, man!

221
00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:51,563
It's time Fitzy gets
rewarded for his sins!

222
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:53,870
But how do you know it's
not the old bait and switch?

223
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,698
Lure you in, and then
presto-chango,

224
00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:57,700
submit you to an eternity
of genital torture?

225
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,267
Giddy-up!

226
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:02,009
This isn't just your eternity
we're talking about here!

227
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:04,359
Fitz!

228
00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:05,882
You've already ruined
my life.

229
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:09,669
You're not ruining
my afterlife!

230
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,845
Vebronsky!

231
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:14,891
[Sound of keys typing]

232
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:24,248
Fitzy?

233
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,641
What are you doing here?

234
00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,164
You're supposed to be
drinking 80-proof

235
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,427
and getting a lap dance
from Lucrezia Borgia.

236
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,691
Apparently, they're prejudiced.

237
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,431
Said I wasn't on the list

238
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:34,868
because I'm not dead,
or some shit.

239
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:37,522
Fuck!

240
00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:38,872
Ah, I've seen this before.

241
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,744
You can't die 'cause
your soul's in turmoil.

242
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:43,006
Fuck turmoil.

243
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,313
I'm all soul, and I know
exactly what I want.

244
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:46,706
But Larry doesn't.

245
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,359
You telling me that fucker

246
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:49,752
actually has something
to do with this?

247
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,275
He's a part of you, man.

248
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:52,712
I can't make that shit up!

249
00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:59,022
Oh, well, that wasn't
the stairway to heaven.

250
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:01,459
Once again, here you are
to fuck things up!

251
00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:04,811
Or I'm traversing the bowels
of eternity trying to save you,

252
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,160
and make things better for us.

253
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,162
Why you always got to try
and ruin my fun?

254
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,251
If you hadn't got into
that infernal car--

255
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,513
It was your fucking idea!

256
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:12,514
Do you know how hard
this is for me, Richard?

257
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:14,472
I'm a busy man!

258
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,517
And as your spirit guide,

259
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,519
I got to insist
that you sort out

260
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:19,956
this whole two-bodies,
one-soul bullshit.

261
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,828
And how would you suggest
we do that?

262
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:25,788
With magic tricks?

263
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:26,789
I love magic tricks!

264
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:29,313
Card game.

265
00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:33,013
If Fitzy wins, you both agree
to go to hell.

266
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:36,320
If I win, mister,
we go somewhere less hot.

267
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,408
Not going to happen.

268
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:39,019
All right, we got a deal!

269
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:43,632
Standard dealer's contract,
initial here, here and here.

270
00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:47,679
So, uh, what's it
going to be?

271
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,594
Go Fish? Canasta?

272
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:56,863
No, we're going to play
a man's game.

273
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:59,126
Five-card stud.

274
00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:00,562
Oh, what version?

275
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:03,043
Jackpots, double draw,
California lowball,

276
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,696
London lowball, little Chicago,
Terracina, shifting sands,

277
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,568
razz, Mississippi stud,

278
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,178
and my personal favourite,
the bitch!

279
00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:10,441
Impressive.

280
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:11,834
What?

281
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:14,750
You know poker,
so I know poker!

282
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:15,577
Deal.

283
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:17,797
Enjoying your sandwich?

284
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:22,671
Gunshot wound,
bus crash, twins.

285
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:23,890
How is your day going?

286
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:24,978
My day?

287
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:27,197
Try the last three months, lady.

288
00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:30,287
A carnie fortune-teller
told Richard he'd be murdered,

289
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:31,941
and when we couldn't find
his killer,

290
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:34,465
he decided to jazz up
his obituary

291
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,206
by breaking the county
speed record.

292
00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:37,860
Why don't we just skip ahead
to the injury?

293
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,253
I tried to stop him,

294
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:43,300
and so he changed his route
and then he crashed.

295
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:47,652
And then, I tied his shoe,
and that made him...

296
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,089
Uh-huh?

297
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:53,876
I insisted we track down
his killer.

298
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:56,444
I forced him to change
his route!

299
00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:57,662
I tied his shoe!

300
00:13:57,662 --> 00:13:59,316
And now, you're cutting off
his oxygen.

301
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,274
Hmm?

302
00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:02,624
Oh!

303
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:03,712
It's all my fault!

304
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:06,541
Here's to Richard Fitzpatrick.

305
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:08,717
May his jinx die with him.

306
00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:10,501
How many more times
are you going to say that today?

307
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,547
As many times as I have to!

308
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:17,160
Vodka, straight up.

309
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,032
No booze for Legs!
She's pregnant.

310
00:14:19,032 --> 00:14:20,598
I'm not making
the same mistake with you

311
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:22,470
as I did with those
other two Mongoloids.

312
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,993
If that means you being
locked up in a box

313
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,603
under my bed for nine months,
so be it.

314
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:27,562
Oh, I terminated the pregnancy.

315
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:34,395
You're not going
to say anything?

316
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,919
What is it with you broads
and talking?

317
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,094
It's over, move on.

318
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,574
I have.

319
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:42,359
My letter of resignation
is on your desk.

320
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:48,670
You know, your son
never had a chance.

321
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,977
That crash didn't kill him.

322
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,761
His family did.

323
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:01,378
He's paying.

324
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:12,650
Do these chips represent
all the bad things I've done?

325
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:15,305
And those are the bad things
done to you.

326
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:20,745
I'll open with the women
I've fucked over.

327
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:23,792
I will call with the one woman
who effed you over.

328
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:29,972
One.

329
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,018
I will take three.

330
00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:38,938
Let's make things interesting.

331
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:43,464
Timmy, the boy I wedgied
in daycare.

332
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:47,555
Jan, the girl who shaved your
eyebrow in seventh grade.

333
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:51,559
Full house, 10s over queens.

334
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:53,213
Jacks over kings.

335
00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:56,520
Goody!

336
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,000
Ugh!

337
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,612
Deal!

338
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:02,787
[Machines beeping]

339
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:05,312
What's happening?

340
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:06,704
He's convulsing.

341
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:07,967
Well, what does
that mean?

342
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:08,837
It means I don't get
to finish my sandwich.

343
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,491
What?

344
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:13,189
Clear!

345
00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:16,410
All right, gents, let's see
what lady luck has to offer.

346
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,151
Every lemon I ever sold.

347
00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:21,284
I will call.
Royal flush!

348
00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:23,199
Fuck me!

349
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:25,288
I see your credit card scam

350
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,769
with your father's punishment
of your perceived weaknesses.

351
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,553
You going to let him
treat you that way?

352
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:30,772
Like a girl?
Is that what you are?

353
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,382
I call.

354
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,428
I fold.

355
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:35,995
That's my boy.

356
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,997
Two pair,
aces high.

357
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,259
Look at that!

358
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:40,695
I got the exact same hand
as you.

359
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,653
I thought you were a player.

360
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:45,482
I'm all in.

361
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:48,529
Gentlemen,
the chips are down.

362
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,839
You know, you just
inherited Fitz's tab.

363
00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:56,189
Heh, heh!

364
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:57,668
Like fuck I did!

365
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,893
What do you taco benders
want?

366
00:17:04,893 --> 00:17:08,940
You are a very amusing man,
Mr. Fitzpatrick.

367
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:13,858
A man who deserves much more
than disrespect and ill-fortune.

368
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,556
Which is why we come
to you with an offer

369
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:18,776
that even a man of your
much-disputed greatness

370
00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:21,823
would be a fool to refuse.

371
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:29,700
My office, tomorrow,
3 o'clock.

372
00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:51,548
One.

373
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:58,077
I am fine.

374
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:08,652
Four kings.

375
00:18:15,572 --> 00:18:17,008
You win.

376
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:19,054
[Laughing]

377
00:18:22,623 --> 00:18:23,537
Yes!

378
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:24,668
I'm going to hell!

379
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:27,584
Signed, sealed and delivered.

380
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:29,238
We are going to hell,

381
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:30,935
and it's going to be
fucking awesome!

382
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:33,982
[Laughing]

383
00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:37,594
No, it's not.

384
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:42,643
[Laughing]

385
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:56,918
[Machine flat-lining]

386
00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:57,962
You can slow down!

387
00:18:57,962 --> 00:18:59,616
That's it?

388
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,705
I would apologize, but according
to our legal department,

389
00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:04,273
that might be construed as
an admission of culpability.

390
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:05,796
But he can't be dead!

391
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,407
Richard!

392
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:08,843
Richard, you can't be dead!

393
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:09,931
Because I'm not dead!

394
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:12,499
Live, Richard, live!

395
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:18,331
Heh, heh!

396
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:20,942
See you again, sweetheart!

397
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:22,683
You cheated me!

398
00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:24,641
King of commissions,
baby!

399
00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:26,861
You know what kind of coin
the big guy would pay

400
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:28,602
for a bastard like you?

401
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:30,343
We're talking about
a brand-new motor home.

402
00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:31,648
And when I say motor home,

403
00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:33,737
I mean solid-gold tits
for days.

404
00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:35,130
You fucker!

405
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,784
Us tin-slingers are supposed
to stick together!

406
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:38,351
Vebronsky doesn't
do partners.

407
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:40,222
Unlike you!

408
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:41,702
Have fun, kid.

409
00:19:41,702 --> 00:19:43,617
Oh, we will.

410
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:47,925
One last chip.

411
00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:49,405
You went south on us?

412
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:51,451
You sneaky fuck,
that's cheating!

413
00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:54,149
No, no, that's just
my insurance policy,

414
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,064
for Richard's own good.

415
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:58,632
I suspected Nicky Vebronsky
of treachery

416
00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:00,242
from the moment we met,

417
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:02,592
and when it became obvious you
were blinded by his charms--

418
00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:04,290
Blah, blah, blah!

419
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,726
No need to get testy!

420
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,380
What do you say, Fitz?

421
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:10,687
One last hand,
winner take all.

422
00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:13,690
My eternal damnation
for a set of gold tits?

423
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:16,040
Give me that fucking chip,
Larry!

424
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,956
No, Richard.

425
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:21,002
It's all we have left,

426
00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:24,092
and your soul is far
too valuable to gamble.

427
00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:34,972
BOTH:
No!

428
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:41,457
[Blowing air]

429
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,590
Get the fuck off me,
fruit bar!

430
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:45,418
You're alive!
You're alive!

431
00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:46,984
Ow, ow, Larry!
My ribs!

432
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:48,943
Sorry, sorry!

433
00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:51,815
Put the sirens back on.

434
00:20:51,815 --> 00:20:54,731
[Sirens blaring]

435
00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:58,257
Oh, Jesus Christ, fuck!

436
00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,954
Keep breathing!

437
00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:07,527
My brother's dead.

438
00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:10,573
Wow, I thought I would feel... something.

439
00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:17,319
Great.

440
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:18,625
Ugh!

441
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,627
You know what kind of month
I've had, asshole?

442
00:21:20,627 --> 00:21:23,934
Drop the gun!
Drop it!

443
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,023
You're cute.

444
00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:27,111
Too bad I have to kill you.

445
00:21:27,111 --> 00:21:28,591
It's nothing personal!

446
00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:29,940
I was told to send a message
to your brother.

447
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:32,334
Bad move, moron.

448
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,858
My brother doesn't give a shit
about me!

449
00:21:34,858 --> 00:21:36,338
Especially since he's dead.

450
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,340
He's not dead.

451
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:41,169
What the fuck
you talking about?

452
00:21:41,169 --> 00:21:43,040
Ambulance drivers,
all Lebanese.

453
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,346
Your brother is still alive.

454
00:21:44,346 --> 00:21:46,740
Son of a bitch!

455
00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:47,784
Nobody tells me anything
around here!

456
00:21:47,784 --> 00:21:49,569
My father's the same way!

457
00:21:49,569 --> 00:21:50,657
And my mother, goddamn it!

458
00:21:50,657 --> 00:21:52,311
You have a talent.

459
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,138
You've seen me dance?

460
00:21:54,138 --> 00:21:58,621
If you let me go,

461
00:21:58,621 --> 00:22:01,276
may I interest you
in employment?

462
00:22:01,276 --> 00:22:03,496
Keep talking.

463
00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:11,199
That's phenomenal, Richard.

464
00:22:11,199 --> 00:22:12,809
Get your hands off me!

465
00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:15,203
While I was saving you
in real life,

466
00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:16,900
I was also saving you
in your dream.

467
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:18,989
Yeah, whoopty-doo.

468
00:22:18,989 --> 00:22:20,426
Oh, that's okay, buddy.

469
00:22:20,426 --> 00:22:21,557
I know it's hard for you
to show gratitude.

470
00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:22,645
But you know what?

471
00:22:22,645 --> 00:22:24,430
The fact that you're
still breathing,

472
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:26,606
that's all the thanks I need.

473
00:22:26,606 --> 00:22:28,825
I was wrong;
this is my hell.

474
00:22:28,825 --> 00:22:30,436
Hey, Richard?

475
00:22:30,436 --> 00:22:33,177
You know the funniest thing
about all this?

476
00:22:33,177 --> 00:22:34,265
No, Larry, tell me.

477
00:22:34,265 --> 00:22:35,571
What's the funniest thing

478
00:22:35,571 --> 00:22:37,181
about the fact
that I almost died today?

479
00:22:37,181 --> 00:22:39,096
Well, for a minute there,

480
00:22:39,096 --> 00:22:42,143
I actually thought that I was
your shadowy figure.

481
00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:50,238
Hmm, look at that.

482
00:22:50,238 --> 00:22:53,937
Yellow paint on my Italian
leather gloves.

483
00:22:53,937 --> 00:22:55,548
It's kind of like the paint

484
00:22:55,548 --> 00:22:57,158
that was used to deface
our mural.

485
00:22:57,158 --> 00:22:58,681
But that's silly!

486
00:22:58,681 --> 00:23:00,379
Next thing you know,
I'll be accusing myself

487
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,468
of digging up
Babs Devon's grave!

488
00:23:02,468 --> 00:23:04,513
Mud?

489
00:23:07,647 --> 00:23:12,521
My God, that could be
from Babs Devon's grave!

490
00:23:12,521 --> 00:23:17,439
And my size 13 boot!

491
00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:20,921
But how could I be running
around sabotaging you?

492
00:23:20,921 --> 00:23:22,705
You can't be, Larry.

493
00:23:22,705 --> 00:23:24,359
That's fucking retarded!

494
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:25,447
What's next?

495
00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:27,493
You shot the mommy video too?

496
00:23:31,105 --> 00:23:33,281
My God!

497
00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:35,326
Why do we always hurt the ones
we love the most?

498
00:23:35,326 --> 00:23:37,459
You just saved me,
moron!

499
00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:38,460
Only so I could kill you tomorrow,

500
00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:39,461
on the beaver moon!

501
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:41,594
Oh, for fuck's sake!

502
00:23:41,594 --> 00:23:44,379
Well, I guess you better
get out of my life then!

503
00:23:44,379 --> 00:23:48,470
You're right.

504
00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:50,472
I will!

505
00:23:53,649 --> 00:23:54,607
Forever.

506
00:23:54,607 --> 00:23:56,609
Forever'd be good.

507
00:24:00,569 --> 00:24:02,702
Goodbye, Richard.

508
00:24:24,637 --> 00:24:28,945
We're almost out of milk,

509
00:24:28,945 --> 00:24:32,253
and the toilet paper's
under the sink.

510
00:24:38,172 --> 00:24:41,654
My God.

511
00:24:41,654 --> 00:24:44,700
Is he really fucking serious
this time?

512
00:25:08,332 --> 00:25:17,777
♪


